How can I be compassionate without taking on other people's energies?

Question for Paularyo:
How can I be compassionate without taking on other people's energies?

Message from Paularyo:

Paularyo: Good afternoon my dear. Do you notice that sometimes you f-e-e-l other people's energies?

You take on their pain, or their fears, in an effort to help them.

Does it help them?

How does it affect you?

You learned to take on the energy of others when you were a child. You had good intentions.
You wanted to be helpful...and be loved.

Today taking on another's energy drains you. Their energy mixes with and blurs your energy.
You become confused about who we really are deep down inside.

As we tap into your energy field, we find that you are an empath. That is, you take on the energies of the people around you. It can be very confusing for you. You take on their pain and their fears.

My dear, this makes it hard for you to be grounded. You lose yourself in the process. When you take on other’s energy it gets mixed with your own and then you are confused.

You have come today to learn how to return to your Self when you get lost, as you are now.

One of your soul's goals in this life is to discover how to see other people’s energy. To understand their energy. To have compassion for their energy. But to NOT take it on.

Vicki: Which explains what has been going on with my energy. I have been taking on the fears of people. I definitely see that.

Paularyo: It is important for you to heal this first because it affects your career path and your relationship with your mother.

Vicki: Big time.

Paularyo: My dear, look into your body and find the energy of others which you have taken into your body. What color is it?

Vicki: A murky orange.

Paularyo: Where is it in your body?

Vicki: I feel it in my second chakra [editor’s note: the second chakra is in the stomach] and my solar plexus.

Paularyo: My dear, you second chakra is your emotional chakra…your emotion from childhood. And your solar plexus is your life path. That is why this energy hits you both emotionally and in your career.

Let’s go first to the energy in your emotional chakra. See your energy. Ask it how old you were when you began taking on other people’s emotions. What does it tell you?

Vicki: In the womb.

Paularyo: Correct. This is one of the lessons you wanted to learn in this lifetime…not to be empathic. You had to do it first, you had to be empathic first, in order to learn how not to do it. Do you understand?

Vicki: Yes.

Paularyo: Take this energy out of your stomach and allow it to be suspended in front of you. Ask it, “How have you served me? What have you taught me?” What does it tell you?

Vicki: It taught me to have compassion for where other people are coming from.

Paularyo: Absolutely! You have learned what you came to learn. You have enhanced your innate compassion. Speak to this energy. Thank it. Love it. Honor it. Tell it you are ready to transform it. You are ready now to not take on other people’s energy. Instead, to see it…to understand it…to know it…to have compassion for it…but not to take it on as your own. Yes?

Vicki: Oh yeah.

Paularyo: Speak to this murky orange energy and ask it to transform into an energy, which serves you better today. What does it transform into?

Vicki: What came up was a peace sign (laughter).

Paularyo: And what color is it?

Vicki: A bright yellow.

Paularyo: Yellow is the energy of joy. Thank it. And ask it what does it stand for? What does it represent for you?

Vicki: What I’m getting is…to help others to see peace and compassion in themselves.

Paularyo: That’s wonderful! My dear, the most powerful way to teach is through modeling. As you bring this peace into your emotional chakra you model peace. Most importantly, it brings you into peace…which is why you came to us today…you haven’t been in peace.

Vicki: Right.

Paularyo: Ask this yellow energy to return to your stomach where you once had the orange energy, and feel the peace in your stomach. How does your body feel differently with peace in your stomach?

Vicki: I actually feel some shifts with some colon issues I’m having.

Paularyo: Feel it. Feel it. Feel it. We feel you breathing more deeply.

Vicki: Yes. This is something I have not done in the past well…breathe.

Paularyo: As you have this peace in your stomach, what happens to your mind?

Vicki: Definitely clearer.

Paularyo: And your emotions?

Vicki: Feeling I can handle it more.

Paularyo: Let’s take the ‘more’ out. “I can handle it.”

Vicki: I can handle it.

Paularyo: How does it feel to know that you can handle it? Whatever it is, you can handle it.

Vicki: Peaceful.

Paularyo: What happens with your connection to spirit when you have peace in your stomach?

Vicki: It’s stronger than strong.

Paularyo: Ask your body what will happen to your weight as you have peace in your body.

Vicki: I think that just not taking on everyone else’s energy will make a huge difference. It will reduce the size of my body.

Paularyo: With this peace in your body, you can allow it to be easy, yes?

Vicki: Yes.

Paularyo: Let’s go to the orange energy in your solar plexus. Once more, ask it how old you were when it first came to you and what does it tell you?

Vicki: In the womb again.

Paularyo: Absolutely. Go back to a time when you took on someone’s energy in order to try to help him or her. What comes to you?Vicki: My mom…when I was in the womb

Paularyo: Go back to that moment and be that embryo. You decided in this life to do that so you could learn from it, yes?

Vicki: Right

Paularyo: Take on her energy, and what happens to you in the womb when you take on her energy?

Vicki: I’m taking on her energy of fear. The fear of not being free…of being tied down. And I’m questioning my purpose, why I’m here.

Paularyo: So in the womb you began to feel your mother’s pain and fear of being tied down, and beginning to wonder why you are here, which is what your mother did, yes?

Vicki: Yes.

Paularyo: You took on her issues and made them yours.

Vicki: Big time.

Paularyo: We want you to image, my dear, that you didn’t do that. You’ve already done that once. We can recreate time, do you understand?

Vicki: Yes

Paularyo: Be back there. Be in the womb. And this time instead of taking on her pain and her fear and her questioning, we want you to have compassion for her pain, and her fear, and her questioning. What happens to you in the womb as you do that?

Vicki: I feel strong.

Paularyo: Now be born. Open your third eye and look at your mother. See the truth of her emotions with your third eye. Don’t take on her emotions. What do you see?

Vicki: I see her inner-child not feeling good enough, not feeling loved.

Paularyo: The first time around you took those on…the fear of abandonment, the fear of not being lovable, yes? How has that impacted your life?

Vicki: The fear of being abandoned has been huge. So I abandon others before they can abandon me.

Paularyo: The two of them merged…the fear of being abandoned and the fear of not being lovable. You took these on from your mother as soon as you were born.

Vicki: Yeah. Right.

Paularyo: Now, my dear, re-create your life. As you are born, open your third eye. Instead of taking on her pain, you have compassion for her. How does it feel as a brand new baby with compassion for your mother?

Vicki: I feel like the big person here.

Paularyo: You feel wise, do you not? Your wisdom is available to you. When you took on her pain and fear, you went into your head and out of your heart. When you are in compassion you are in your heart, you have your wisdom available to you. You return to your Spirit.

Be in your energy of Spirit. Be in your “Ka” --- the ancient Egyptian term for the energy that you brought into this life, that remains with you in this life, and that goes back to Spirit. Your Ka is your soul energy. Remain in your Ka as you look at her with compassion. Your wisdom is available to you.

Now, we want you to imagine that you grow up in your Ka. Go through grade school and high school. Let us know when you have completed that. Imagine how your life is different when you live it in your Ka.

Vicki: I’m feeling strong. I’m feeling that I’m clear with what I’m feeling, and with everything else. So I’m understood.

Paularyo: When you are without fear and without pain, you can be your Self. When you are your Self in grade school and in high school, there is freedom in that. You are just being you…it is soft and gentle and caring and compassionate. Feel the difference. Come out of high school in this energy. Describe yourself to us.

Vicki: I’m connected. I’m one with the universe. I’m very strong.

Paularyo: And you’re allowing it to be easy.

Vicki: Very much so…I’m allowing it to be easy.

Paularyo: Now we want you to go through the rest of your life up until this moment in your Ka and let us know how it feels.

Vicki: Peaceful. My back is even adjusting. Letting go.

Paularyo: When your body comes into peace, it is a healing moment. When you are in pain and in fear and in your head, you are in dis-ease. Your back goes out. When you are in your heart, in peace, in your soul, in your Ka…it is a healing moment. One moment at a time. You heal your back. You allow healing. It is just one moment at a time.

Be in this moment, in the energy of your Ka. Feel your back. You are creating for yourself healing. Remember to breathe. Allow the universe to breathe you. Feel the peace in your body. Remember who you are…loving…kind…generous…wise…intuitive… compassionate…caring… free…generous…joyful. Be all of these things in this moment. Be healing.

Vicki: Now I have to release my ‘control freak’ inside…needing to know the outcome.

Paularyo: My dear, we would prefer that you not ‘release’ the control freak. That control freak helped you as a child, do you understand? As a child you absolutely had to be able to predict. So you had to become this control freak. It was positive. It served you. Yes?

Vicki: Yes.

Paularyo: That energy is a positive energy. It does not serve you today. We want you to transform it to an energy that serves you today. First we want you to find in your body the energy of the control freak. Where do you find it?

Vicki: In the solar plexus

Paularyo: That is your life path, your career, chakra…the reason that you came to us today. What does it look like?

Vicki: A red/purple energy.

Paularyo: Ask it to come out of your body and be suspended in front of you in your bubble. Ask it when it came to you.
Vicki: Right after birth.

Paularyo: Yes, it was an energy that you needed to take on in this life in order to survive your childhood.

Vicki: Right

Paularyo: Thank it for coming…for helping you survive your childhood. Ask it to transform into an image that serves you today. What does it transform into?

Vicki: I don’t get this…it’s a frog. Oh, now it’s turning into the prince, into the true magnificent being that I am. Now, it is a butterfly.

Paularyo: Ah, the butterfly represents transformation. Absolutely. Ask the butterfly what does it represent for your life.

Vicki: Freedom

Paularyo: Wonderful because before it was control…the opposite of freedom. The need to be able to predict just keeps you burdened. The butterfly represents the freedom to just go forward without knowing the outcome. And, my dear, you have done this many times…you have gone forward in trust.

Vicki: Oh gosh, yes I have.

Paularyo: You have flip-flopped between the control freak and freedom to go forward in trust. Now you are ready to stay in the butterfly energy. Yes?

Vicki: Oh yes.

Paularyo: What color or colors do you see in your butterfly?

Vicki: I see brilliant pink and purple and yellow and white.

Paularyo: You have the rainbow. Pink is love, purple represents your Guides, yellow is joy, and white is the energy of your Ka, of your soul.

Vicki: The rainbow colors are within the white – pastel.

Paularyo: That represents you as a very soft being. A woman of peace and healing and gentleness. Invite this butterfly into your solar plexus. How does your body feel differently?

Vicki: Like it can be lifted. As if the butterfly is strong enough to lift me.

Paularyo: Go ahead and image that your body is lifting…as if your physical body has no weight…as if your physical body becomes energy, which it really is. Allow this butterfly to fly your body. How does your body feel?

Vicki: Like it’s home.

Paularyo: Imagine now that you move forward 5 years in time in this energy, in this career that you have identified…how does your body feel?

Vicki: Immediately I have the fear of being tied down to one job, to one place…I can’t be free.

Paularyo: Where did that fear come from?

Vicki: That’s what my mother did.

Paularyo: We want you to identify that fear, because with that fear, you are not going to manifest what you want.
Vicki: Right! Exactly!

Paularyo: Find that fear in your body…where is it?

Vicki: That is in my heart. It looks like softball. It tells me that it has been with me since I was an embryo.

Paularyo: You had to become an adult as a child.

Vicki: Oh, huge.

Paularyo: You had to be the responsible one. You had to take care of your mother. And you were tied down by that.

Vicki: Big time.

Paularyo: So your fear of spending any time in one place stems from that fear.

Vicki: And of being committed to anybody or any situation.

Paularyo: Right! Ask that baseball to come out and be suspended in front of you. Thank it. It taught you that you can take care of anybody, anytime, anywhere. On the other hand, it has within it fear of commitment. Ask that fear to transform. What does it transform into?

Vicki: A big teddy bear. Cuddly. Safe. Soft.

Paularyo: What message do you get from the teddy bear?

Vicki: It says, “You can love yourself in the same way.”

Paularyo: Who took care of you as a little girl?

Vicki: Nobody.

Paularyo: Now you it is time for you to do that, and only you can do that.

Vicki: Yes.

Paularyo: Where is the little girl in your body?

Vicki: In the womb.

Paularyo: Yes, in your second chakra. Now, ask the teddy bear to move from your heart into your stomach. Ask it to embrace that little girl. How does it feel?

Vicki: Safe. Nurtured. Loved. Worthwhile. Loveable. In my power.

Paularyo: Your little girl has never been nurtured. She has been waiting for you to nurture her. You have been too busy taking care of others, yes?

Vicki: Oh yes!

Paularyo: Now it is time for you to take care of your little girl. She has been waiting for you. How old is she?

Vicki: She was about 3, but suddenly she became 7.

Paularyo: She is growing up. That is the whole purpose for this…for your little girl to grow up. Safe. Ask her to give you a message about how you can best take care of her so she can grow up.

Vicki: “Let me feel safe that you are not going to abandon me again.”

Paularyo: The fear of abandonment is huge.

Vicki: I’ve abandoned my own power on top of everything.

Paularyo: What do you say to her in response?

Vicki: “I’ll honor you.”

Paularyo: Ahhh! That is the most powerful thing you can say. Now be 5 years forward in time. Describe you emotionally.
Vicki: I feel like the proud, nurturing, protective parent.

Paularyo: You do it for your child first, and then you can do it for others.

Vicki: That’s huge.

Paularyo: You honor your child and through that you honor others. Now, go ahead 10 years. How do you feel?

Vicki: I feel fine. I don’t need to be able to predict where I will be or exactly what I will be doing.

Paularyo: Now go to the end of your life, and look back over your life. Did you learn what you came here to learn?

Vicki: Yes.

Paularyo: What did you come to this life to learn?

Vicki: To open my heart and to let peace just envelope my Self and the world in many ways. To spread peace.

Paularyo: My dear, that’s what you came to do. What did you come to learn?

Vicki: That I am strong and in my power, with a softness.

Paularyo: Oh wonderful! You learned to be in faith, instead of fear.

Vicki: Yes

Paularyo: You learned to be in peace instead of pain.

Vicki: Yes

Paularyo: You healed on many level in this lifetime, yes?

Vicki: Oh yes.

Paularyo: Be in that moment. It is the end of your life. You have done it. You have healed what you came in to heal. Be in your Ka. Feel it.

The reason that you came to this earth, the reason that all beings come to this earth, is to enhance their Ka. You did it! You did it! Feel it. You are a being of peace, of faith, of courage, of gentleness.

Vicki: Of enlightenment.

Paularyo: Bring that energy back to this moment. Notice your energy field, your energy bubble. How large it is. How bright it is. And know that when people first meet you, at a subconscious level they first meet your bubble. When they meet you in this energy, it is a meeting of souls. Yes?

Vicki: Yes. Thank you for this session. Definitely, definitely some big shifts.

Paularyo: My dear, you were ready for this today. You were ready for a major jump forward on your path of transformation, and you did it. Easily. Effortlessly. You just did it! Congratulate yourself. Congratulate that little girl in your stomach. We wish you ease on your path, my dear. Allow it to be easy.

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